Why my car is a 'child' for me :P

Maintaining a car is like maintaining an elephant if you are lucky and a dinosaur if you are not :P

When I was in school, I was dreaming of a career in medicine. I ended up 'choosing' mechanical engineering though. So, when I had to carry an engineering drafter, I used to compare it with a stethoscope. While unlikely, I have still not ruled out a career for myself in medicine :P. But the analogies keep coming at me. We all must have had or seen moments where a patient tries to tell the doctor what is wrong with him and what needs to be done, only for the doctor to quip "Are you the doctor or am I? Just tell me the symptoms. I will then tell you what to do". A similar thing happened to me with a mechanic. I took my prev(c)ious car to a mechanic and told him "The EGR valve needs to be replaced. Can you help me do it?". The mechanic said something like "Am I your servant? I don't do what you say. I am the mechanic. Just tell me what the problem is". It is a different story that he later on agreed that the EGR valve indeed has to be replaced. So, here is my attempt to draw more such analogies of how a car can be so "human" in a world where we see humans becoming so mechanical!

For starters conceiving a car is no small matter. With the loads of choices in front of you, one can seriously get a headache. Should you adopt one (second hand cars) or make new? ;) When taking them out, cars are like babies who need continuous monitoring, attention and care. Take for instance the requirement that you always have to hold its hand (steering wheel I mean). Sometimes just a touch but sometimes with utmost care.

Once you own a car, you have to change its napkins every now and then.  Well I mean the oil and oil filter. Either you can do it by yourself making your hands 'dirty' or ask a granny to do it for you (mechanic). But it just had to be done. You can postpone it, but you better do it! And there are its nostrils (air filters) that will need occasional replacement. I wonder why we don't take the pain of cleaning these filters. Use and toss culture is not surprisingly different between the two napkins you see!

As the car reaches adolescence, just like pimples, dimples appear on your car. Sometimes you wonder from where they came from. Stones from the road chipping your car sides, nuts/acorn falling from a tree and the 'clever' guy who had parked next door and opens his door ajar, oblivious to the car that is parked next to his (hers) - are all responsible for those dimples (dings) on your car. Anti-aging, skin care creams are available (paint protection) to enhance the looks of your car as it grows old.

Cars in fact suffer from quarter life crisis too. As soon as the manufacturer's warranty ends, you will inevitably have a few maintenance issues crop up. Their shoes (tires) get worn out too. But at least they don't keep changing their sizes! And then their eyes (headlights) can suffer from corneal dystrophy  (faded headlight lenses) and their knees (shock absorbers / struts / suspension) might need a knee cap replacement as it ages, but once done will be up and running like a child!

They put on weight as they age (decreased mileage = more fuel needed), lowering their efficiency. But analogies apart, personally I have observed that if you treat your car with respect, it does return the favor to you in more than one way. I am reminded of this joke piece that I read somewhere sometime:

A heart surgeon went to a mechanic to repair his car. The mechanic opened the hood and started his diagnosis. While he was at it, he started chatting with the surgeon, "Hey doc, so you see, there isn't much of a difference between you and me. If you think of the engine as the heart, then I do operate on the heart, check the valves, replace it if needed. Pretty much whatever you do. Then how come people treat you with more respect and you get all the big bucks?". The surgeon calmly replied, "Try doing it when the engine is running!".

P.S. The following is for people with Mech / Auto Engineering background and with a little knowledge of biology. Many are debatable. Sometimes I used function as the criteria and sometimes structure.
Tear glands = wiper fluid, Strokes of the engine = systole and diastole of human heart, Engine Control Unit = Nervous system, Air intake mechanism, filters = Lungs/respiratory system, Transmission / Lubrication / Coolant systems = Circulatory / Perspiratory systems, Timing parts (cam shafts and timing belt) = Bile secretions in stomach :P, Catalytic converters / EGR = kidney, Anesthesia = disconnect the terminals of the battery.